I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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