We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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