No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize