T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
