I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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