one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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