make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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