You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
