dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
