he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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