This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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