Do you still have your period?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
