Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
there is puke in my bra ... again
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