Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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