There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize