therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize