Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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