I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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