He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
