Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize