Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Randomize
