it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
