Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Terrible idea I love it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
