Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
