i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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