I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
