What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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