You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
