I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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