Got a toothbrush?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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