nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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