wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
