I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
