Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
