kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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