i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
