Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
