seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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