considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
