...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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