woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
