he thought i was a dude.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
