so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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