She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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