Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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