You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
