Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
