Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
