We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
