first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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