Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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