i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i out mim tonsoeep
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
