I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
