he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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