That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize