I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
