We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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