I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
