i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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