this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
