just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
