if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
