Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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