the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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