I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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