My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How does it feel to date your dad?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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