Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
