Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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