My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
