all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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