she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
