Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize