white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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