They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
